


My Whole World

by Hyperspacial



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Abduction, Domestic Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, NOT SUITABLE FOR BOBBY STANS, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Stalking, Swearing, creepy!Bobby - Freeform, dark!Bobby - Freeform, do NOT read if you want Bobby to be the hero, seriously Bobby is super violent and unhinged in this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25678411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperspacial/pseuds/Hyperspacial
Summary: Bobby and MC leave the villa together, and almost a year later still seem to be going strong. But MC is starting to lose interest in the relationship, so Bobby raises the stakes.The first chapter is relatively tame but following chapters will be very explicit/graphic. Do not engage if that's triggering to you.
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie & Main Character (Love Island), Gary Rennell/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

The fact that the summer was over wasn’t nearly as surreal as the realization of how big all of this was. In the villa, it genuinely felt like you were just a small group of friends trying to get along. Sure you knew there were cameras around, but it didn’t feel real. Then, suddenly, you were surrounded by all the eliminated islanders, your families, and the production crew and it all suddenly felt massive. 

Bobby gently rubbed your back and whispered, “earth to MC, you okay? You wanna head out?” You flinched as he interrupted your thoughts and smiled at him. You chin lowered to his shoulder and you quietly said, “Kinda, yeah. Would it be rude to head out early?” 

“Of course not, Lass. I’ll go ask a producer if we can.” He kissed your temple then wandered off, leaving you standing alone in the crowd of people on the villa lawn. You looked around to see who, if anyone, you wanted to say goodbye to. Your eyes landed on Lottie, and of course they did. Slowly making your way over to where her and Gary stood by the pool, softly acknowledging everyone who talked to you along the way, Lottie noticed you and waved. When you reached her, she pulled you into a hug. 

“Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah- um. How did you know?”

“You have that startled, doe eyed look on your face, MC. The way you get when people fight and you want to run away.”

That made you giggle, still holding her hands in both of yours, “I do not!”

“Do too. You just look a bit overwhelmed. Anything I can do?”

“No. I think Bobby and I are going to leave. We’ve talked to everyone… And yeah… It just feels off.”

Lottie nodded and hugged you again, frowning, “I’m going to miss you so much, MC.”

“Same. I love you, Lottie. We seriously need to go on a weekend holiday sometime, or I could come down to Melbourne.”

“You’re always welcome. Oh-” Lottie reached for your cheeks and brushed away a tear, “don’t cry. It’s okay.” You laughed as tears started falling, hugging Lottie tightly again. Gary stood silently, for the first time in the conversation looking down awkwardly and shuffling his feet.

“I know it’s okay- I just don’t want to not see you everyday. Sorry, it’s dumb to cry about but- You’re the best, Lottie. I’ve never had a closer friend than you.” 

“What about Chelsea?” There was something in Lottie’s voice, like she was trying to be jovial but couldn’t conceal the genuine interest in her voice. It was something else too, like she needed something from the answer. 

You shrugged, shaking your head wordlessly and repeated, “I’ve never had a closer friend than you.” She smiles and hugs you tighter then lets go. At some point during this, Bobby had appeared behind you. As you released Lottie he put his arm around you.

As you looked up from Lottie you noticed Gary staring at you, eyes wide but face blank. You offered a nicety along the lines of, “It was nice getting to know you, Gare. Take care of my girl and don’t forget to text once in awhile.” He half smiled and watched you, something deeper in his eyes. For a moment, you fumbled for words, a feeling you didn’t care to label stirring in your chest. Bobby seemed to notice too, pulling you closer to his side and interrupting to say something to Lottie. You weren’t listening. Your eyes were locked on Gary as he subtly moved his chin, and offered you a tight smile. 

You got into the cab with Bobby. You shared the bed with Bobby in the hotel booked before your flights the next day. But you couldn’t stop thinking about that look on Gary’s face. What was that- why did you care what it was? Nothing felt as gripping as that moment, not when you kissed Bobby goodbye or arrived home for the first time in months. Your world was suddenly quiet without Noah’s snoring and Chelsea’s excited shouting, and your mind felt equally quiet. 

***

“I’m just saying, Bobby, you know this is a temporary position. I need experience to get to where I actually want to be. Two years of this and I can do whatever I want.” You held the phone between your chin and shoulder, folding laundry as you argued.

“But you could be doing this position anywhere, MC,” Bobby nearly whined back. You rolled your eyes. “You could’ve came up here and applied for entry-level stuff! That was the whole plan, Lass. We were just waiting for you to finish university.”

“And then a good opportunity cropped up. I’m not going to put my life on hold just to move to Glasgow. You were fine waiting until the end of the semester, what’s another few months.”

“It’s not another few months, MC. You just said it could be two years. Of course I wanted you to finish school before we got a place, but we both thought that’d only be ten months!”

“You always say this is worth waiting for.”

“It is,” you hear him put down the phone and groan loudly. You smiled to yourself slightly, at least he was making an effort not to be frustrated at you. The phone crackled as he picked it back up, “we are. I’ll wait for you forever, MC. I just miss you. I feel like I used to see you every other week. But now it’s been two months and five days since either of us visited. I need to see your pretty face-”

“We can facetime. I’m working on some laundry right now but-”

“I don’t want to facetime, I want to be with you. What do I have to do, Lass? What’ll it take to get you to move in with me? I’ll do anything. We can even start looking for places so you don’t have to move into my apartment- we can just go straight to a house.”

“Nothing, Bobby. It’s not a ‘you’re not doing enough’ kind of thing. I’m not holding this over your head or- buying a house isn’t some carrot on a stick. I want to be in a long-term relationship before we do anything like that.”

“And a year isn’t long-term enough?”

“No, it’s not! And even if it was, you really think it’s fair to count two months in the villa? We didn’t even couple until like half way through-”

“Day 22, I know. But don’t you want it, though?”

You sighed loudly, every disagreement always ended up in this circular motion. When you didn’t answer he repeated the question.

“Want what, Bobby?” You knew exactly what he was getting at but didn’t know how to get him the drop the issue.

“The little cottage with a white picket fence. A tire swing in the backyard. Trips to the beach. Getting to rant about your shitty coworkers over a glass of wine. To spend every day with me? I want a life with you, MC. You are my life.”

“You’re mine too, Bobby,” you said flatly, stopping your clothes folding to cross your arms. “But I-”

“Ok. That’s all I wanted to hear. Let’s stop this, then. We both want to be together, so arguing about it isn’t helpful. What kind of dog are we going to get?”

You laugh in surprise, taking the phone back in your hand, “I don’t know, probably a rescue.”

“There it is.”

“There what is?” 

“That giggle- it makes my whole week. That’s all I need to survive, is your laugh and a little bit of sunlight.”

You laugh again, “you’re stupid.”

“Stupid in love with you, maybe.”

You settle back into comfortable conversation with Bobby. It seemed like every conversation you had ended up in a fight about the future, but moments like this reminded you why you cared about Bobby so much. No pressure, no pretense, just two people being goofy and dumb together. 

***

You didn’t mean to, but once you noticed something was off on Lottie’s instagram, you couldn’t stop watching. It started with a cryptic photo just captioned “taking a break. what happened happened and it’s not your business. don’t hit me up.” At that point, you didn’t know the context, and just shot her a simple, “hey babes, if you need to talk about anything I’m here <3”. Lottie left that on read, but whatever it was you figured she’d reach out if she needed you. It wasn’t like you could do much from halfway across the world anyways.

But then she started angrily replying to edits of her and Gary, and bullying fans. You didn’t notice the comments themselves, those were lost in the flood of notifications, but you did see the Youtube compilations and angry twitter rants about Lottie’s behavior. She’d started retweeting fans talking about her and Gary and snapping that they weren’t just characters for your entertainment and quipping that they should delete fanart that she didn’t like. What attracted the drama channels was Lotties fans, who seeing her anger took it upon themselves to attack and bully anyone that Lottie retweeted sarcastically. Then livestreams started. 

You thought her anger would fizzle out as it normally did but it clearly wasn’t. Nearly a month after the first instagram post, Lottie would go live to rail about what an “absolute lying filthy snake” Gary was. The rants never got too into specifics, just repeating that he was a liar and that he never cared about Lottie. One particularly venomous one shouted you out,

“And he had the nerve to drag Hannah and me across the coals for what, for fun? He’s absolutely trash and I’m tired of you all stanning him!” She leaned into, sipping a coffee and scanning the comments, “Oh my god stop saying he can’t defend himself! Just because he’s not on twitter doesn’t mean he’s a baby! He gets away with that all the fucking time, just pretending he didn’t hear or see something so you can’t be mad at him for it! Nobody cared when he kissed me- you all just wanted to cancel me! And MC?! Don’t even get me fucking started. She kissed him too, you all forget that! She kissed him and then ignored him for the rest of the fucking game. But no, she’s so pretty and nice- fuck her. She wanted to pretend to be my friend because she thought she was better than me.” 

That genuinely hurt. You didn’t catch it live, but the frantic tweets and screencaps got you curious enough to watch a reupload. It broke your heart- you genuinely loved Lottie and to think that she thought you’d lied or faked anything… It surprised you that she was still holding on to anger about the Gary kiss- you’d both talked about it at length and forgiven each other. You thought she recognized it was only night one and that Gary had been leading you both on…

You genuinely didn’t know where she got ‘you thinking you’re better’ from. When you tried to dm her you found yourself blocked on instagram, and she wasn’t even opening your texts anymore.

A week after that specific livestream, you called Bobby in tears. “I just don’t know what to do anymore- I don’t even know what’s going on! She blocked me on instagram! I didn’t even do anything.”

“No, you didn’t. It’s okay, Lass. Lottie’s clearly going through something with Gary and she’s lashing out.”

“I don’t even know what that is though! I called Gary about it and he wouldn’t tell me anything, but he seems absolutely shattered by this. I know he tried to hide it but he was crying on the phone.”

“That’s their issue, MC. You need to let it go and let them figure it out.”

“I can’t just let it go! I don’t know what happened! I just want to know what changed, or if I did something. I love Lottie so much- she’s never done this before.”

“But she has done this before. Just not to you. Maybe that’s your problem? You supported her when she was nasty to Priya and Chelsea, but just assumed she’d never do it to you.”

“I didn’t- Lottie was right to be mad at Priya- and Chelsea came in and immediately brought up old stuff. I don’t even know what I did to her!”

“Yeah, I’d love to help you out but I don’t know what to tell you. You probably didn’t do anything. I hate her acting like this and getting away with it. Do you want me to come down this weekend and we can just forget about it?”

“Bobby that’s an eight hour drive.” 

“Seven and a half. Or you could come up here, I can book you a flight.”

“I’m not taking Monday and Friday off from work just to fly up on a whim.” 

“You’d only have to take Monday off. I want to see you, Lass.” And suddenly you weren’t talking about Lottie anymore. Fuck, he always did this. 

“No. No, I just… I need to figure this out because it’s been bothering me all week. I bet I can get Gary to tell me what happened if I go see him in person. Chatham’s only like a half an hour from here, I could just go on the weekend and talk him through it.”

Bobby didn’t bother to keep the bitterness out of his voice, “so you’ll drive to see Gary but when your loving boyfriend wants to drive to see you it’s too far?” 

You responded with the same annoyance, “Mckenzi. Don’t try to argue that thirty minutes is comparable to seven hours. And I don’t really want to see Gary, I just need to get this whole Lottie thing out of my head. I’m sure Gary’s going through it with her too! He probably needs a friend.” 

Bobby was silent, but you could almost hear him pacing. You stayed quiet, searching for anything that would calm him.

“We used to be friends, Bobby. Lottie, Gary, and I, we were all super tight. And now that he’s going through a rough patch I can’t ignore him. Chatham’s so close, I can’t believe I haven’t gone sooner. It’s almost rude at this point- I’m in his backyard and haven’t said anything to him since we left the villa.”

You took a deep breath, waited for Bobby to respond, and when he didn’t added, “I’m not asking for permission, Bobby. I need to do this so I can make amends with Lottie. You have nothing to be jealous or angry about.”

“I know, Lass,” the defeat was clear from the tone of his voice, “I’m not mad. I just miss you.”

“You always do.”

“Well I’m not the one who keeps cancelling visits.” 

You sucked in a breath. He finally called you out. You just stood there, frozen.

“Yeah.” Bobby said after giving you a chance to make an excuse like you always did, “I guess we’ll end on that.” He hung up before you said anything else.

He didn’t call or text for the rest of the week. He even stopped liking all your social media posts. It was the quietest week you’d had recently, and you couldn’t figure out if it was refreshing or disconcerting. After texting Gary, he agreed to go out for drinks and fast food on Friday night after work. 

When Bobby called the first time, Friday at 5:02, you were leaving work and missed his call. Once you got home, surprised to see him breaking his silence, you had to shower and put on some makeup before dealing with that. By 5:34, you were in your car driving to Chatham. The GPS was interrupted by an incoming call, and you hit the answer button.

“Hey.”

“Hey Lass, listen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ghost you just because I’m upset, that’s childish.”

“Yeah, it kinda is.” Your response throws Bobby off, he seemingly expected you to reassure him and forgive him immediately. Truth be told, you weren’t angry he hadn’t been calling you. That didn’t mean he wasn’t being childish, though.

“Yeah, um. It is. I’m sorry…” He paused for a minute, and when it was clear you weren’t going to say anything he observed, “sounds like you’re driving.”

“Yeah. Gary agreed to get some takeout and tell me what’s going on with Lottie.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’ll at least know what’s going on…” He trailed off and the phone went quiet again. “I’m sorry. I just- you’re right- I’m jealous that you’re seeing Gary but won’t come see me.” 

“And I told you that you shouldn’t be jealous because we’re just friends and I only want to know what’s happening with Lottie.” 

“Yeah. You’re right. I just- do you mind if I stay on the line with you as you drive?”

“What? Yeah. You don’t have to ask.” 

“It just seems like you finally have time to talk.”

“That’s not fair, Bobby. I always make time for you.” Your voice was getting louder, tired of dumb conversations escalating into arguments.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that you’re driving. So there’s not much else to do. I just have you as a captive audience.” 

Bobby started telling you about an anecdote at work where he ended up scouring the bottom of a bunch of pans and needed to waste two hours cleaning them, and you replied “wait I thought that happened last week?” 

“Oh. Yeah. It did. Sorry I forgot I told you about that.” He laughed but there was something strained about it.

“Do you do that often,” you giggled earnestly, “save stories for dull weeks and then say they just happened? What, so you always have funny stories?”

“Not usually. I guess… I guess nothing really happened at work this week.” 

You teased him some more, and didn’t realize you were finally laughing along with him in earnest. The conversation flowed naturally, from work to an interesting article Bobby saw on Facebook that was definitely not actually true (are you kidding me, you believed that?!), to the book you were reading, to current events. You talked about everything and nothing, and finally you got what you’d been desperately hoping for- things to feel like they did in the villa.

The drive flew by and before you knew it you were pulling up to the curb across from some lovely little cottage-eque houses. 

“Oh my gosh how cute, I need to send you a picture of this. Gary’s nan’s house is like a little country cottage.” You pulled your phone from the cupholder and snapped a picture, texting it to Bobby. “Isn’t it adorable?”

“Yeah, that’s cute. So what was the plan again?”

“I dunno, we’re gonna grab food and then talk through the whole Lottie thing. I told him I wanted to be home by 10, so it shouldn’t be anything too crazy.”

“Well if you’re going to be driving back late, don’t be afraid to call on your trip back. I’ll be here waiting.”

“I’ll text you when I get home.”

“Oh, well, I mean I’ll be awake so you might as well call.”

“Bobby I’m gonna want to go to sleep, and I know if I get on the phone with you I’ll stay up all night. I’ll text you when I get home. It’s been really nice to just… Talk. I love you.”

“I love you too, MC. You’re my world.” 

You rifled through your purse as he said that, gathering up your things. Looking back up, Bobby was still on the phone smiling back at you affectionately. You rolled your eyes and joked “no you hang up first”. 

“I just want to remember this moment, Lass.” 

“Good bye Bobby,” you sang, pressing the end call button. He would, and had, dragged conversations on for hours after you both said goodbye. As lovely as having a normal chat had been, you were already late to meet Gary.

When you crossed the street the sudden feeling of rightness swept over you. The sun was setting and the quiet residential street swelled with sounds of crickets and distant traffic. You’d had, for the first time in months, a conversation with Bobby that left you feeling content rather than guilty. You finally allowed yourself to admit you were excited to see Gary, and some small part of you still wanted to reconcile with Lottie. Life suddenly seemed so much less complicated.

As you climbed the steps to the porch, you couldn’t help but smile. You pressed the bell.

After a minute, a familiar voice was muffled by the door. He cracked it open and slid out the gap in the door, and suddenly Gary was right in front of you, wearing the dopey smile you remembered so well. 

“What’s that about,” you said, beaming and gesturing to the now closed door, “don’t want me to catch a glimpse of your nan? She’s too famous to be troubled by the likes of me.”

“It’s not-” the smiled dropped off his face and you laughed, “I’m kidding, Gary. It’s so good to see you. I’m sorry for not coming sooner, Tonbridge is such a short drive from here. I swear I’m not avoiding you.” 

He went to sling a single arm around you in a side hug, but you wrapped both your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a proper hug. He chuckled softly as he held you. After a beat too long, you pulled away.

“It’s great to see you, MC. You look as beautiful as ever… Not that- I mean.”

“And you look the same too, maybe a little less bulky. Been slacking off on the gym without any weather reporters to impress?”

Gary’s eyes twinkled as he joked back, “who me? No, now I have a whole world of birds to impress instead of just six.” 

You smiled out of the side of your mouth, “I certainly haven’t been as consistent as I should be. I really miss the gym crew… I missed you.” 

A flush sprouts across Gary’s face as he rubs the back of his neck. You quietly watch him, then offer, “so, dinner?”

After walking to a small takeaway spot a few blocks from home, you ended up slowly walking along the winding residential streets while eating out of styrofoam containers. You didn’t broach the topic of Lottie yet, just catching up. Gary spoke more than you remember him, and about surprisingly thoughtful things. He’d been struggling with the aftermath of the show, getting recognized and not knowing how to deal with people who thought they knew him. Combine that with his nan having hip problems and likely needing to go in for surgery in the coming months, and Gary confessed he was feeling overwhelmed and scared. You gently rubbed his arm when he said that, more worried than before.

“So how have you and Bobby been?”

“Oh you know… Fine. Better than you and Lottie.” Gary chuckled and bumped you with his shoulder. 

“Well the bar’s pretty low for that. But… Just fine? You don’t sound excited about that.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I guess we’re okay. We’re out of the honeymoon phase, I guess.”

“You guys got married?” His voice was slightly too loud, and you barked out a laugh.

“No, god no. You know, the honeymoon phase? When you’re dating someone new and the butterflies go away and you’re just left feeling… Kinda numb and out of place. I guess Bobby doesn’t feel that way though- a few weeks ago he called my parents and asked them for permission to propose.”

“Oh… Wow… Congratulations.” 

“No, I mean, thanks. He hasn’t yet, and I’m not sure I want him to- let me get your perspective on this. All my friends think it’s so cute and whatever, but it’s weird, right? We’ve never talked about marriage or the logistics of any of that, but he goes ahead and asks my parents. He’s only met them twice! That’s weird, right?”

“I don’t know. Do you think it is?”  
  
“Yeah, a little. He’s just really focused on moving in together and I guess getting married, it just doesn’t seem like we actually spend time just being anymore. Like he’s not happy dating me anymore because we’re not working towards some goal. I don’t want to feel like my relationship isn’t complete until we put it in writing. I don’t know. It all seems like a lot.”

Gary nodded but kept walking, and you fell into a comfortable silence. 

It didn’t seem like either of you knew where you were going, but he must’ve because you ended up on the outskirts of a construction site. After following his gaze to the cranes barely visible against the dark skyline, you grinned.

“It’s always weird how you leave primary school and say ‘I’m never coming back’ but then when you’re driving with no direction you end up there.” Gary said, not glancing away from the cranes ahead.

“You went to school in a pit,” you quipped, the grin leaving your face when he glanced quickly at you, frowned, then looked away. 

“No, I just… Didn’t mean to come to work, but still found myself here.”

“I always assumed you had a good time in highschool,” you were holding his elbow gently now, trying to dispel the weirdly distant energy he was giving off. “Big strong kid like yourself? I bet you were the teacher’s favorites.”

He exhaled and rubbed his chin and looked down, “Course I was the teachers favorite.” He exchanged a conspiratorial glance. “I was trying to be serious.”

“Ok, ok, alright.” You stepped in front of him to stop him from walking, gently holding the outside of both his arms. “Let’s be serious. What are you thinking about?”

“I just… It seems really small. I go out and just end up at work or at my old school and it’s not like I want to be there or like it here or whatever. I don’t know.” 

You stood in silence for a bit before turning to start walking again, but Gary didn’t follow. 

“Is this about something bigger?”  
  


“No. We just ended up at my job site.”

“Okay… Do you want to head back…?” 

“Sure. I mean… Didn’t you want to talk about Lottie.”

“Yeah. Do we have to do it here? I figured we could go and sit down somewhere…” 

“I cheated on her.” 

You physically flinched back, surprised, but managed not to say anything other than, “oh.”

“It wasn’t bits or anything, but she’s right to be angry. I haven’t really kept up with it, but from what I’ve heard-”

“She’s really taking it poorly. How did she even find out?”

Gary took a deep breath then suddenly sat on the sidewalk, gazing out on the construction site. You stopped walking, but remained standing.

“It was a few days after I got home. Some mates and I went to a pub to get some drinks. To celebrate. You know how it is. There was a girl there and I guess she knew me from the show… She kept talking about how I was her favorite and we took some pictures- ended up kissing her. I don’t know who told Lottie or what, I just know she called me and we broke up, officially. Not like we were ever official, but. We had it out.” 

You searched for a response, not sure what he needed to hear. To be honest, you were surprised it only took a few days apart for Gary to do something like this, you’d thought better of him.

“Was the girl nice at least?” you weakly offered, and Gary looked at you with his lips pursed.

“She had your eyes.” He said, and continued talking as if he hadn’t dropped a big bombshell on you, “and dark hair like yours. I don’t know, Lottie said I was ‘chasing my regret’ and something about the one that got away. I guess she was right. I felt like such a bellend when I just let you walk away.”

“Gary I don’t- It’s not my fault you cheated on Lottie-”

“I’m not saying it’s your fault. Sorry, I shouldn’t even be telling you this. It’s not your fault me and Lottie don’t work. I guess I just thought you coming out would be…”

“Would be what, Gary?” You paced away from him, holding the bridge of your nose then turned back. “Lottie was my best friend, Gary, now she’s blocked me on everything! Because what, you kissed a brunette girl months ago and now she blames me?”

“No, I told her I fancied you. That’s why she’s mad at you.”

“What?!”  
  


Gary took a heavy breath, “we broke up when Lottie first found out. But a few weeks ago I guess Lottie saw the picture of the girl and assumed we were dating. She called me furious that the girl looked like you, saying it was the same thing as what Lucas did with Blake. I guess we went back and forth and I admitted that I fancied you and-”

“Gary, we kissed one time on the first day. Lottie knew about that- why is she so angry about it now-”

“Not just the first day. I told her I fancied you for the whole summer. I didn’t tell her, but I think I still do.”

Your jaw dropped open and you stared at him, wide eyed. 

“I just- I don’t mean to spring it on you. I thought you were happy with Bobby but now-”

“You were happy with Lottie! I didn’t- we didn’t- Lottie wanted you so I backed off. I thought you were happy with her!”

“She’s nice,” he bit his lip and wrung his hands, “we just weren’t meant for each other.”

“She made it seem like- shit, Gary. I can’t- you’re off limits because Lottie fancied you so much. I made it work with Bobby because I knew- You’re not- I didn’t want to hurt you and Lottie.”

“And I thought you were happy with Bobby. You’re everything, MC. You’re sweet and fit and gorgeous and a great mate, of course I fancied you. You seemed happy, so I ignored it.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, a full bodied bubbling laugh that made Gary look up at you with that pitiful look on his face. You knelt and gently took his face in your hands, managing to get out through the wheezing, “we both just wasted the whole summer assuming the other was happier without us.” Gary bit his lip before offering you a smile, “MC. Can I- Can I kiss you?”

You lean in, still holding his face, and pressed your lips against his. His hand came up, stroking your cheek as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You slightly pulled away, “woah, you’re going in with that already?” He began to blush deeply again, looking down.

“I just assumed you came because you wanted something to happen…”

“I didn’t say that I didn’t, I just said slow down.” He smirked and grabbed your waist, pulling you into his lap. You had everything. His slightly musky smelling cologne mixing with the fresh linen of his shirt invading your senses, hand hands wandering across you, his eyes sparkling when you caught them in between kisses. He slowly began to recline backwards as you took charge, running your hands through his hair. You were on top, leaning over him as you made out. His lips broke away from yours and wandered lower, to where your chest hung in his face. 

As quickly as it escalated, he suddenly took hold of your sides and sat up, pushing you off. “Gary-” you breathed, confused as he started to stand.

“Get up, sweetheart.” Gary said, his voice deeper, eyes flashing as he looked down on you. Before you could ask more, he took you hand and pulled you to your feet, then kissed you deeply again.

“I won’t do this here. I’m not gonna expose you in the dirt right next to a pit of cement.”

You laugh, throwing your head back, as he pulled you back towards the way you came.

“Wait!” You pulled your wrist away and ran back, picking up the discarded styrofoam containers, “I’m not gonna litter and abandon our left over chips.” 

He grinned at you, then you both walked hand in hand a few blocks to a small inn with a vacancy light blinking. 

***

The first thing you heard before opening your eyes is humming. You couldn’t place the tune, but the notes were interrupted by Gary breaking into soft singing, breathily repeating the chorus of a song you didn’t recognize before going back to humming. You sat up, ran your hand through your thoroughly mussed hair, and looked over where Gary stood washing his face in the bathroom sink. His back was just barely visible in the mirror reflecting the open bathroom door.

“I didn’t know you sang”, you called out to him. He flinched in the mirror, surprised by your voice. The dopey grin on his face as he stuck his head made you catch your breath. 

“I don’t, not really.” He pulled a towel off the counter and wiped his face, now walking out of the bathroom and towards you. Sitting gently on the foot of the bed, still smiling at you with all the warmth in the world, he whispered “good morning”. Speechless for a moment, you just gazed at him. Gary was clearly waiting for you to respond, and blushed when you didn’t. 

“I ran out and got some breakfast sandwiches and coffee,” he gestured to the bedside table, your eyes landing on a heap of wrappers.

“Why’d you have to put the mess on my side?” You teased, reaching over and digging out the food before looking back over. Gary was chewing his lip, and you laughed lightly, “It was a joke. Thank you.” 

Reaching for the coffee, you noticed your phone screen as it lit up with a missed call. Pausing for a moment, you retrieved it and unlocked the screen. 17 unread text messages, 21 missed calls, three Facebook messenger notifications, and 6 unopened Snapchats. From the cursory glance, they were all Bobby. As you looked back up from the screen, Gary was frowning deeply. He met your eye for a second, then stood up and turned.

“It was really nice to see you,” he said gruffly, his voice catching mid sentence. The unasked question hung in the air.

“Gary?” He spun to face you a little too fast, lips pursed and nose scrunched as he tried and failed to keep it unreadable. You smiled for a moment, before leaning forward and reaching out. You gently held his cheek and he leaned into you, hand gently covering yours as he kissed your palm.

“I don’t regret this. I missed you, a lot. I missed how you make me feel.” His smile grew, eyebrows relaxing as he kneeled on the bed. Gently kissing you, he pulled away and murmured, “How do I make you feel?”

You smirked at the innuendo, but refocused on what you wanted to say. What you needed someone else to hear. “Safe, Gary. You make me feel safe and at ease and just… Chill. I miss working out with you and chatting about nothing important and just… I miss feeling like there’s no pressure to be this love story of the ages.” You let out a long sigh. “This was lovely, but I don’t want this-” 

Gary’s face fell, and he interrupted, “I get it, you and Bobby are solid and we’re just friends.”

“I want more than just a hookup- what? No. Gary, I mean I want more than this.”

He held your face gently, eyes tearing slightly. “I want to wake up like this every morning, MC. I promise I can give you more than he ever will- I promise I can- I will- You know-”

You shushed him with a loving kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulled you up, supporting your weight as he stood and spun you around. Gary kissed you deeply for what seemed like an eternity before letting you stand. You shivered in the air and stepped away from him, reaching for the discarded shirt on the floor.

“You don’t have to compete with Bobby,” you offered as you shrugged on your blouse, “We’re just not clicking like we did at first. He’s kind of overbearing and taking this too fast- I’m not breaking up with him because of you, is what I’m trying to say. It’s been in the making for a few months now.” Gary didn’t say anything, and you got the feeling that he wasn’t particularly pressed about how Bobby fit into the equation.

After stepping back into your jeans, you walked over and kissed Gary’s forehead firmly. He catches your chin and pulls you down into his lap.

“So we’re doing this?” He asked, cradling you lovingly. “I just want to hear you say it.”

“We’re going to do this, Gary. But… I don’t want any expectations, okay? I love being around you, and you’re… amazing. I just- Bobby is really set on the house and the kids and the- we’re chill, right? Like I know I teased you but I really appreciate that you didn’t have me inside to meet your nan and.. I’m trying to- We’re going to take it slow and just-”

“MC, I don’t care about any of that. I just want to hang with you again. If we do bits here and there, then that’s even better,” his light joke was lost as you continued to stammar about Bobby. Trying to get your attention, he spoke a little louder, “I just miss you. This isn’t the happy confident girl I fell in love with.” But you were still babbling as he reassured you, tears welling up.

“-and please don’t randomly call my parents to ask for their blessing if we haven’t so much as talked about getting engaged. I don’t want this to be us working towards some kind of end goal. But then I feel guilty because you’re a great guy and you deserve to have what you want just as much as I do. And it’s not your fault, I just don’t feel it anymore and I’m tired of pretending and-”

“MC, hey.” Gary said gently, rubbing your back, “it’s okay. You gotta work this through with Bobby, but I’m here for you.” You stopped and took a breath, burying your face in his shoulder. He was right. You truly weren’t sure where your crush on Gary ended and using him as an out to escape Bobby started. 

Your voice came out much smaller than you intend, “thank you. I just… I need someone on my side.” He kissed the side of your head and mumbled, “of course. Anything you need, I’m here.”

After a few minutes of sitting like that, rocking slowly, you smiled tightly and nodded. You kissed his cheek before extricating yourself. “This is good, this is what needed to happen.” It wasn’t healthy to be so dependent on such a new relationship, but Gary was everything you needed right now. Someone to listen unquestioningly. Hell, maybe you even needed someone who was a little biased against Bobby. Truly, Bobby was the ideal partner, he was so thoughtful and kind and attentive. But whenever you needed to mention being unhappy in the relationship, all your friends and family would be aghast and insist that the two of you were perfect. And maybe you were, but you were fucked up and ruining it. You realized, as you grabbed your purse and keys, that Gary wasn’t just a crush you’d held onto, but the first person who wouldn’t be disappointed in you for failing Bobby. For failing yourself. For failing the world.

Gary had already grabbed his personal items and stood in the doorway watching you gather up the rest of your things. His hand somehow found your lower back as you went to leave, and his calm presence at your side slowed the rattling in your chest.

You were going to do it. You’d been putting off breaking it off with Bobby for months now. There wasn’t one distinct point when you realized what you wanted to do, but the discomfort had been growing for a while. Panic had set in when your mom asked if he’d proposed yet, but you didn’t want to feel trapped anymore. Your parents, the world, Bobby, everyone wanted to pin you into this ideal life and Gary was the first one to ask what you wanted. And for the time being, you needed to be okay with not knowing what you wanted.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t say a word to Gary on the short walk back. He didn’t seem to mind. God, that was refreshing. Bobby always rushed to fill any lull or silence with something, anything. But Gary’s silence felt comfortable, at ease, refreshing. Suddenly you were stopped, standing across the street from Gary’s house. You unlocked your car and looked up at Gary, realizing he was already smiling down at you sadly. He kissed the top of your head after you pulled him into a hug. 

“I’m going to do it,” you mumbled into his chest, “I’m going to break up with him and then I’m going to call you and cry like a baby.”

The chuckle reverberated through his chest, “Cry all you need.” 

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

“You deserve amazing,” he looked down at you. “I hate seeing you so… So wound up.” 

You exhale and nodded, chewing your lip, “It’ll be fine.” 

“Yeah.”

You kissed him again before getting into your car. As you drove away, you noticed him standing on the porch, watching you drive. You waved, and watched in the mirror as he waved back. He called out something, but you were too far down the street to hear his “drive safe!”

The trip home was quiet, 30 minutes seemingly stretching into an eternal purgatory. You had turned the radio off to force yourself to simmer in silence, letting the growing dread in your stomach be your punishment. This was all your fault, you’d strung Bobby along for so long and now you had to pay for it. You didn’t deserve to be happy with Gary or anyone else. 

At a few points, you’d tried to rehearse what you needed to say to Bobby on the phone. Your heart ached because you knew he’d take it badly. He’d been diligently planning your future, waiting for you to finish college and then establish a career. Little did he know you were planning your exit route. Every time you got to explaining yourself, tears welled up again. You had to do it, but surely the words would come when they needed to.

It was midday when you got to your apartment. You sat in the car for an extra ten minutes, breathing deeply and scrubbing at your running nose. Surely calling him on a Saturday afternoon to break it off would ruin his weekend. At the same time, if you put it off for too long you might chicken out. As you got out of your car, you tried to reassure yourself that maybe he wouldn’t answer. But of course he would answer, if the missed notifications in your phone were any indication. 

You audibly swore as you keyed into your apartment building, remembering you’d promised to call Bobby after you ‘got back from Gary’s’. He’d know something was up. It’s not like that bothered you so much, but you knew Bobby would deflect any responsibility for the relationship failing onto Gary now. As lost as you were in your thoughts, you didn’t react when after reaching for your key the door pushed open without inserting it. It wasn’t until you stopped in the living room when you noticed- you always locked to door when you left. It wasn’t super alarming, there’d been times in the past when you didn’t turn the key far enough for the lock to engage. Still, you jokingly repeated the vine, “if you came here to kill me clap your hands” loudly and flicked on the lights twice. Giggling to yourself, you dropped your purse and keys on the couch and immediately went to the bathroom and began undressing. 

It wasn’t until your clothes from the night before laid crumpled on the ground again that you realized how badly you needed the shower. Gary was still between your legs and shame blossomed across your face, causing you to flinch and quickly jump into the shower. The water was ice cold and then searingly hot, but you deserved it. The shame really settled in as you scratched at your skin. You fucking slut. You fucking cheating piece of shit, you absolute trash. You weren’t crying anymore, just angrily scrubbing yourself. 

After what seemed like an hour, the air burning your lungs with the amount of steam, you turned the shower off. It took another ten minutes of you staring silently at the ground before you turned and pulled open the shower curtain. As you reached for your towel, a dark figure hovering above the sink caught the corner of your eye.

You shrieked and fell backwards, slipping and falling to one knee, clutching the curtain. Bobby didn’t move from where he was silently sitting crossed legged on your sink counter. You quickly stood, peeking out from behind the curtain before loudly swearing.

“What the fuck? Bobby? What are you- how did you get in here?!” 

His face remained blank as he looked at you, unmoving. “Why would you do this, lass? We had everything.”

“Bobby what the- you can’t fucking be here. I don’t- you just- did you fucking break in?!”

“Of course not. I respect your space. You keep a spare key in the hallway plant pot.”

“I never- Bobby get out!”

"You spent the night with Gary.”

You stammar more, completely shocked that he was here. in your bathroom. You didn’t have a response for that, of course you did. He could see the clothes on the ground that clearly weren’t daytime ‘just seeing a friend’ clothes. He knew you’d turned off your phone.

“Why are you- Bobby how are you here?!”

“You weren’t answering my calls,” he said, deadpan. You’d never heard Bobby’s voice so flat, devoid of snark or amusement. It was almost scary how monotone he’d suddenly become in comparison with the jokey, childish man you’d been dating. “I knew you’d be driving home late so I wanted to know when you got home safe. But you wouldn’t text me back.”

The lie left your lips before you realized you’d been planning it, “Gary and I went out for drinks and it got really late. I didn’t want to drive home in the dark so he let me sleep on his couch.”

“I was so worried, Lass. You could’ve called me back.” Your eyebrows raised as you realized he believed you. 

“You’re right, I was just so tired I went to bed and then didn’t text you because I was driving back right after waking up-”

“I was so worried I stayed up all night, waiting to hear from you. Left my house at four in the morning. It’s a seven hour drive, Lass. I kept telling myself ‘if she texts me back I’ll turn around’. I didn’t want to overreact.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Bobby,” You let out a breath. He was so clueless and your heart nearly broke for him. “I was just so tired and I-”

“I imagine you would be, driving nearly an hour to get shagged by someone else’s boyfriend while your own sits by the phone worried sick.”

Your stomach dropped and you started stumbling over your words again. You wanted to protest that Gary and Lottie were clearly broken up, that he didn’t know that’s what happened, that the drive was only a half an hour. All you managed was, “It’s not that- I’m not- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry.”

“Oh I imagine you’re sorry. Just look what you’ve gone and done.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, silently. His gaze was cool and unflinching. You didn’t realize how tightly you were clutching the shower curtain to your body until you heard the rattling of the shower rod. You took a few shaky breaths before breaking the silence.

“Bobby, you can’t just come into my house without asking. I love you but this is so not okay.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Do you love me? I love you. But you clearly don’t love me the same.”

“Bobby I-”

“Why would you do this, MC? Why would you fucking do this? This isn’t part of the plan!” 

You flinched as his calm and collected voice suddenly found an edge, getting louder. You pulled the curtain tighter to yourself as a reflex.

“What plan, Bobby? What are you talking about? You need to leave.”

“Our plan, Lass.” He hopped off the sink and you flinch away, taking a step back in the shower. He takes a step towards you and your body goes rigid with fear. This wasn’t Bobby- or maybe it was but he was in your house and you had nothing to stop him with.

“To get engaged and buy that sweet little house with a painted white fence and the tire swing hanging from the huge oak in the back. To fill that house with kids and then upgrade somewhere bigger as our family grows. To fill our house with art and pastries and love. To rewatch Lost so that you actually get it this time and to rescue a dog.”

“Bobby you can’t-”

His voice got louder, more assertive to cut you off, “Gary doesn’t fit into that plan anywhere, Lass. Funny how that works.”

“Listen, Bobby, please listen. I know what you think but it’s not like that. We didn’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, MC. You’re in enough trouble as it is. You don’t get in the shower right away unless you have something to shower off. You don’t wear,” he glanced at the ground, “dark wash skinny jeans and a blouse like that to see a friend.”

You cowered against the wall of the shower, pulling the curtain so tightly it threatened to bring the rod down with it. Bobby continued getting closing, stepping into the shower, until his face was inches from yours. You stared at him in terror, and the bastard smiled. 

“I forgive you, MC. This is just a hiccup. It’s okay.” 

“Bobby I-” and suddenly the dam was broken and tears rushed down your face.

“Shhhhh, I forgive you.” He leaned in and closed the distance, kissing you softly. Your eyes frantically darted across his face, and you lightly pressed your lips together without kissing him back. He ran his palm up your bare arm to hold the back of your head, urging you to kiss him more deeply. After a moment of his kisses growing increasingly aggressive as you don’t reciprocate, you tried to relax into him. That seemed to appease him, as he tenderly strokes his hand through your hair and ghosts his other hand up your side. You closed your eyes.

When he pulls away for a breath, you’re focused on not letting the building tears fall. If you open your eyes he’d see the tears. You weren’t sure if you were more worried he’d be hurt that he made you cry or if seeing your weakness will egg him on, but you know you’re afraid and sad and guilty and hurt and so fucking broken.

“This isn’t working,” he whispered, peppering kisses across your face. Your eyes flew open in surprise, and he continued gently stroking the back of your head while gazing into your eyes.

“I’m sorry Bobby, I should’ve told you sooner. It’s just-” you were forgetting the weirdness of the situation as relief washed over you. He knew it was over. You mentally started trying to figure out if he’d been more distant, when he’d realized it or if this was what it took for him to snap into reality. It couldn’t have been more than a month ago, because as the show’s reunion approached he’d joked a few weeks earlier that it would be a big day. A few days later your parents let it slip that he called to ask for their blessing. So maybe you cheating with Gary really was what it took for Bobby to realize. But he finally had. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Bobby responded, making you shake your head in surprise again. “This long distance thing… I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s not working for us.”

“It really isn’t. I know this will be hard, but it’s not you it’s-”

“It’s the distance.”

You paused for a moment, “right. Bobby you’re a great guy-”

“We just need a chance to be properly together”. He kisses your nose and you frown, taken aback. You were breaking up, right? He knew that, you knew that- “It’s not just the long distance thing, though, MC. That can’t be the only excuse. You seemed to make commuting for the bits work when it was with Gary.”

You started to pull away and stammer out a response but suddenly the hand on the back of your head wasn’t caressing you, it was holding you in place. Bobby’s other arm snaked around you and the more you pulled away the harder he pulled you against him. As you struggled against him, your ankle turned and you begin to slip. He wrenches you up, shoving you against the shower wall. Bobby stepped so that his feet were now outside of your own. A strangled cry tumbled from your lips as he pressed another passionate kiss to you, biting your lower lip none too gently.

“We just need a chance”, he growled, suddenly spinning you and pinning you up against the shower wall so that your back was to him and your cheek was pushed against the white porcelain. You pushed back against him, trying to roll your body around but his arms caged you in. You try to pull your cheek from the wall but he roughly shoves it back. In response, you sharply kick your leg backwards, up between his. As your foot missed his crotch and landed a feeble blow to his thigh, he quickly pulled your head back sharply and slammed it against the wall. Something popped and blood rushed out of your nose. The tears were falling in earnest now. 

You whine in pain, head suddenly throbbing. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lass,” Bobby whispered hotly in your ear. He grabbed both of your wrists away from where you held your face and pinned them together in front of you with one hand. You pulled back weakly but were too dazed to tear away. With his other hand he pulled something out of his back pocket. You managed another throaty scream before he smothered your face in a sour cloth.

“I’m doing this because I love you, MC. We just need a chance. I don’t want to hurt you. I love you,” he cooed as you began struggling in earnest. You slapped at him and tried to rip the cloth covering your face away, but whatever it was soaked in burned your lungs. Your arms started flailing with less and less force as your head began to spin. The pressure holding it to your face didn’t abate, and you couldn’t discern the words being whispered in your ear anymore. Your knees went weak and as you folded in on yourself you felt his arms around you. He held you up, then lifted you into his arms as the black in your eyesight faded in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still can't decide if I want to make this super graphic or just end the series lol, but here's a thing.

You’re not sure if you woke up or just drifting back into consciousness, but suddenly your head throbbed in pain and every noise bounced around your skull. Everything fucking hurt. Reaching up, your fingers found soaked tissue stuffed in your nose, and your fingers still came away bloody. You started to pull, pain shooting up through your face.

Through the pulsing in your head you heard, “Don’t take that out, baby.” You look up, vision lagging, and manage to see him adjusting the rear view mirror to face you. You eyesight kept shifting in and out, but he smiled tightly, sympathetically. He watched you rather than the road for a bit, eyes watering.You strangled out his name, trying to sit up but it felt like your body was filled with concrete.

“It hurts,” you didn’t mean to sound so broken, your voice higher and softer than normal. For the first time you were aware that the shirt on you was too scratchy, you never wore it. He must’ve dug through your dresser to find it.

“I know, lass, I know. Go back to sleep, it’ll hurt less when you wake up.” 

You tried to sit up again, but a surge of nausea cut through the pain and you fell back, retching. Bobby was saying something, but your eyes rolled back again. He smiled sadly and lowered his eyes back to the road.

The next time you woke, everything still felt like it was moving and shifting, both inside of your and out, but you could tell the car wasn’t moving any more. You managed to slide your head up against the car door, not fully able to sit but able to prop your upper body up. Your vision still darted in and out in time with the pulsing in your head, it felt like you were swimming inside of your skin. Bobby isn’t in the car. That’s all that mattered. You kept repeating that to yourself and you reached behind your head towards the door handle. You can’t get a good grip. 

Instead, you kicked the opposing car door with all the strength you could manage. The coherent thought fuck I’m going to be stuck here surged through the fog, and you swung your body upwards. Panic and bile rose in your throat, but you weren’t worried about that as much as the flash of pain from your forehead connecting with the car window. Everything hurts, what’s one more injury. In your new position, hunched over with your head pressed against the window, you manage to yank the door handle with both arms. 

Your body tumbled out of the car faster than you realized what happened. You laid, crumpled on the cement, for a few moments before thinking about how hard the ground is. Once your mind caught up, you rolled to your side and threw up again. 

You eventually manage to grapple with your breathing, panting wildly and looking up. The driveway he’d parked in was empty, save for his beat up old optima. The house you were in front of looked normal, suburban, with an empty garage behind the opened garage door. Bobby was nowhere in sight. 

You shakily stood, leaning against his car, looking around in stunned silence. You were surrounded by a quiet suburban cul de sac, rows of similar looking houses lined the street. Some were unfinished, with greying house wrap sagging off the buildings. The rest looked perfectly normal. The house Bobby had parked at differed, with a mailbox and that fucking white picket fence. 

Staggering forward, you focus on the completed house across the street. You couldn’t outrun him, but maybe you could get someone’s attention. Three steps and you sunk to one knee, dry heaving again. The rawness of your throat blended with the cloying chemical smell in the back of your nose and throbbing head. You didn’t know how long you stayed there, trying to breathe and just endure, before strong arms wrapped around you. Bobby lifted you, his arms wrapping under your armpits. You didn’t have the strength to fight back.

He shifted you into a bridal position, pulling your head against his chest. “Hey, take it easy.” Tears rolled down your face again. Standing up, he carried you back up the driveway, pausing to push the car door closed with his hip before walking across the driveway to the porch. 

Through the confusion and pain you struggle to remember the route, to take in any details that would help you describe where you are to the police. The rich emerald paint covering the front door caught your eye, and you cried out in frustration. Your mom had painted your childhood home that same shade of green, and for a fleeting moment you struggled to remember if this was your home. It wasn’t, it couldn't be, but you didn’t recall ever telling Bobby about the door. 

With some effort, he managed to turn the knob and push the door open while still cradling you. His voice sounded like it was echoing through water as he said, “I was really hoping to take you across this threshold under better circumstances. But… welcome home, MC." He crossed the threshold and you closed your eyes, unsure if the hot liquid running down your face into your mouth was tears or blood, or both. You retched again as he jostled you, sitting down. You can’t pull your eyes open as you heave again

“It's okay. Go back to sleep, Lass,” he coos, and anger flares in your chest. If you could refuse out of spite you would’ve, but the nausea and spinning colors of the back of your eyelids enveloped you once more.

The pain was far less intense when you woke up next. Your head finally felt clear enough to think, clear enough for the confusion to give way to rage.

“What the actual fuck,” you hissed, sitting up too quickly and having to close your eyes for a moment. When you opened them, you were in a large, tastefully decorated bedroom. You gently rubbed the almost silken sheets wrapped around you, and wildly looked for the door. There were three, and you lunged out of the bed towards one. Something caught, and dragged you back by an ankle. You sprawled over, chest and head on the floor but your lower body twisted around the blankets and caught on the bed. Kicking didn’t seem to dislodge the bedding, and you didn’t have enough strength to push yourself back up. After fruitlessly twisting your body, you started screaming.

“Help! Somebody help me! Please. Call the police! I need help! Please!!” You didn’t hear any response, but glancing up at the windows you could see the roof of another house through it. Surely someone would hear. Surely someone wouldn’t have any hangups about calling the police on their strange new neighbor.

You continued shouting and started banging on the floor as well, praying someone would take action, when one of the doors swung open. The way you were twisted against the floor, you couldn’t look up and see which door it was. You couldn’t see him. You stopped yelling in fear, and a sob escaped your lips.

He stood there silently in the doorway. After a minute or two, you heard his slow footsteps cross the room.

“Please- please Bobby I-”

“Looks like you got yourself into a bit of a situation,” he said, lightly. There wasn’t anger in his voice, and if you didn’t know better you would’ve thought it was the same voice that had lovingly joked on the phone with you two days before. You didn’t struggle against him as he lifted you, sitting on the bed and gently pulling blankets away from your body. He pulled then out of the mattress tuck, discarding sheets, the comforter, and two blankets on the floor. You laid there, completely bare save for the long t-shirt he must’ve put on you back at the apartment. You didn’t meet his eyes, terrified of what you’d see, so instead you stared at what had tethered you to the bed in the first place.

A silver handcuff was closed around your left ankle. The chain leading off of it was much longer than you’d ever seen, wrapping around itself before connecting to the other cuff, closed around the bedpost. You followed the bedpost up, to where it connected to the posts holding up the canopy. You were chained to the bed, with no way to slip the cuff off. 

Bobby followed your eyes before pulling your chin down gently, gazing into your face, “hey. Don’t upset yourself, you’re okay.” Your mind was racing but you had no words in response. Your eyes darted over to the doors, hoping the one he came through would be open, but all three were closed. 

“Don’t- hey. Look at me. You’re safe.” You barked a laugh and he winced. “You are.” He insisted, reaching over and gently stroking your arm. You slapped away his hand, looking back up at him, eyes flashing. He looked confused, pursing his lip, and you couldn’t help but think how cute you thought that look always was. How could this man, the man you thought was the love of your life, do this. If he’d looked angrier or more unhinged, maybe you would have been more strategic about what you said to him. Instead, you started yelling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! Where the hell are we?! I was safe at my apartment, or at least I thought I was before you fucking broke in and attacked me. What the fuck? Why would you do this to me? I loved you! Why would y-”

“I love you too.”

“do this?! Fucking uncuff me right now. Bullshit. Bullshit you love me, you don’t fucking beat up and drug someone you love. Is this a prank? How could you- I didn’t even- I wouldn’t have ever dated you if I knew this was how you- You’re not the person I thought you were- my fucking nose! You just fucking-”

“Are you done?” Something in his voice made you close your mouth. Your eyes still burned in anger, but there was something in his face you hadn’t ever seen before.

“Good. I’ll hear you out, but I don’t appreciate you flying off the handle.”

“Flying off the- you drugged and beat me up!!”

“That’s not what happened,” he said firmly, with a calm rage behind his unwavering voice.

“It’s not?! I was fucking there! How did we get here then, Bobby? You didn’t kidnap me and-”

“No. What happened is you’ve been putting off seeing me for a month. You were supposed to stay in Tonbridge for six months after the show, finish everything then move up to Glasgow. We were supposed to find a home and start our family but you went and slept with Gary-” 

“That’s fucking crazy!! You really think that because our relationship wasn’t going well it’s normal for you to do all of this?!”

“Our relationship is just fine, MC, you’re just getting distracted,” He snapped, the anger in his voice and the way he grabbed your wrist roughly shutting you up. “We’re perfect for each other, can’t you see that? You’re the best thing in my life, I was made for you. Nothing is more important than us, not your degree not your school not Gary not anything.”

You were silent for a moment, watching the anger in his face as he glared at you. He was breathing heavily, and for the first time in your relationship you were genuinely terrified of him. Not scared by something he did or surprised, just horrifyingly afraid of the person he was. 

“So what about my career, then? Bobby? I have to go back to work on Monday, people are expecting me…”

He nodded, seeming to calm down and let go of your wrist, “I’m figuring it out. I didn’t exactly have a lot of time… We’ll figure it out, together.” He exhaled loudly then looked up at you, “I love you.”

That was the moment your heart broke. This was the man you’d fallen in love with, his beautiful face and earnest charm and loving demeanor. The sparkle in his eyes and the way his cheeks got so round when he smiled widely almost had you smiling back. But of course, he was a monster. The Bobby you fell in love with would never treat anyone so violently. You wondered if you did this to him, or if he’s always been like this and you were too blind to see.

“It’ll be okay,” you said softly, and he nodded, leaning in and kissing you gently. You didn’t kiss back or close your eyes, willing yourself not to panic. 

When he pulled away, you gently said, “I’m not going to tell anyone. You don’t even have to drive back, I’ll call an uber. It’s going to be okay you just need to uncuff me-” He started shaking his head and you started crying, “please just let me go home, Bobby, please. Please.”

“You are home, MC. We just need some time to be together, away from everything. No distractions.” He patted your arm and stood up. You had devolved in sobs, shaking your head wildly and drawing your knees up to your chest. As he walked to the door in the middle, in the far corner of the room, he turned back. 

“I know there’s gonna be some adjustment period, but you’ll see that this is good for you. This will be good for us.” You wailed louder. Your impulse was to beg him not to leave, but you didn’t want that. You didn’t want any of this.

When he next came back into the room, the window had grown darker and you guessed it to be around 6pm. He carried a plate with a cut grilled cheese, and a smaller bowl of soup. You’d curled up in a ball and silently stared at the window for the past few hours, having cried yourself dry, and didn’t move when he walked over and put the food on the side table. He kneeled on the bed and gently placed a hand on your side.

“MC, MC please. You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, but drink some water.” He gently rolled you to face him, smiling genuinely. “Here, sit up, lovely.”

He gently pulled you up into a sitting position, and you let him, watching him silently. He reached over to the table and grabbed the plastic water bottle. He uncapped it and offered it to you, raising his eyebrows and frowning until you slowly took it. Your throat was absolutely parched, so you drank deeply before he quietly said, “oh wait.”

He reached back and then leaned towards you again, right hand cupped. “Take these.”

You eyed the pills in his palm suspiciously. Lowering the bottle, you softly asked, “what is it?”

“Just something for your head and any nausea. I figured you probably aren’t feeling 100% yet.” 

“And what’s the other one?” 

Bobby inhaled deeply and offered his hand again. You stared down at the pills, one long and white that could be an aspirin, but the small flat pink ones stood out. You looked him in the eyes and scowled. “What is it, Bobby?” 

He sighed again, “It’s birth control, but listen” 

Panic seized your body,“No. No, Bobby, No-” 

He tried to calm you, raising his empty hand, “now hang on, I know you-” 

“No. That’s not- Fucking No- Don’t you fucking dare-” 

“Come on, Lass, quiet down.”

You had escalated to screaming at the top of your lungs, haven scooted up to the headboard, “No! Don’t fucking touch me, Bobby! No! Help! Please somebody! Don’t fucking touch me!”

“I’m not going to touch you. Come on, MC.”

“No Bobby! No! Absolutely not, no! Stop! Don’t you even think about-

“I just figured you’d want to take them. I know you don’t have your normal prescriptions here yet and I just wanted-”

“Shut up! Stop it! This isn’t fucking normal! I don’t want to have sex with you, don’t fucking touch me.” 

“Fine.” He yelled back, abruptly standing up, “don’t take them then! I was trying to be thoughtful!”

He stormed out of the room as you continued to shake in terror, huddled in a ball and flinching as he slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just a re-hash but oh wellllll

“Bobby! Hey!!! Help! Hey! Please!”

Your screams echoed off the bedroom wall and you threw your head back in frustration. Climbing up the bed, you drew as close to the wall as you could before the chain on your ankle pulled taut. Stretching, you could barely flatten your palm against the wall, but you managed to start banging it with your knuckles. Not satisfied with the amount of sound that was generating, you crawled closest the the bedpost your ankle cuff was connected to and climbed onto the floor. The cuff awkwardly wrenched your leg upwards, but on the ground you began stomping with much more ease.

“Bobby! Please! Bobby!!”

You continued on for awhile, growing more and more desperate. The tears began falling again.

You didn’t know how much later, but suddenly the door swung open. His face was drawn into a tight frown, but when his eyes fell on you it softened.

“MC, what are you doing? I already told you to stop making a fuss-”

“Please I need to use the restroom please Bobby please.” The words came out in a desperate gasp and you looked up at him, pain across your features. He raised his eyebrow and immediately rushed to you. 

“Close your eyes.”

“What-”

“I didn’t think- Close your eyes.”

At this point, desperate enough, you complied. The cuff on your ankle opened and Bobby pulled you to your feet, opening the door on the furthest left to reveal a pristine white bathroom. 

“Leave the door open, but I’ll turn around.” 

You didn’t care. After using the toilet, you glanced over at Bobby, who still had his back turned. The water from the sink was freezing cold, causing you to draw back in surprise, but after running it for a minute it didn’t seem to warm at all. You briskly washed your hands then turned off the faucet, looking around for a towel.

Bobby’s back was still turned, and you chanced opening a drawer. If he became angry, you could simply argue that you were looking for something to dry your hands on. There wasn’t a towel, but the first drawer was full of toiletries. A toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, a sealed bottle of your facial cleanser, some assorted makeup.

“I didn’t know if I got the brands right,” his voice made you jump, but glancing over he was still facing away from you. “If you need anything else let me know, I’d be happy to run out for it.”

The dumb look on your face didn’t fade, and not knowing how else to response you said, “you got it mostly right… but it’s not mine.”

“Of course it is, MC,” he turned, and you watched in the mirror as he padded across the room to lean on the doorway. “Everything here is yours. That’s what I keep telling you. This is our home, I want you to be comfortable.”

You closed your mouth, the energy it would take to nod or smile in response seemed too taxing. But this was good. You were uncuffed, he seemed calm, it felt like progress. 

“Can I shower? I mean- does it? Does the shower work?”

“Erm, yeah, but I’d recommend a bath instead. Lets the water warm up.” His head gently rested on the doorframe, and he almost looked… cute. Like everything was normal. But it wasn’t normal, and the thought of having a bubble bath in this wretched house like everything was fine made your skin crawl.

“No. I’d prefer a shower.”

He nodded, regarding you for a second before pushing off the door frame and walking to the closet. He disappeared into it. Your mind reeled, sizing up the distance from here to the door. How fast could you get to the door and out of it? Was he expecting that and standing just inside the closet, ready to grab you? What would he even do if you tried? Did you see him lock it when he came in? He definitely closed it, but it didn’t seem like he paid any special attention-

Your thoughts were interrupted by him walking out with a small pile of folded clothes, and he passed by the closed door that offered your salvation with such nonchalance. You almost hated him for it. No, you did hate him for it. 

He brushed past you and placed the clothes on the shelf beside the shower, then stepped back against the wall.

“Well if you don’t want a bath, the water’s going to be pretty cold. We don’t have a heater- Figure it won’t be much of a problem for another couple months.” 

You nodded idly, staring at him silently. He glanced up in confusion. When he didn’t say anything, you prompted him, “are you going to…” his expression didn’t change, “...leave or?”

“No. Sorry lass. I just… You haven’t settled in for too long and I have to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“No I know, but there’s things in here that you can… Well. Nevermind. I’d just prefer to stay-”

“Things in here that I can what? _Hurt_ myself with?” You couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh, “I’m not the one who’s a threat here. I’ve hardly hurt anyone-” Bobby’s face screwed up in frustration, giving you pause, but having a clear path out of the bathroom emboldened you, “but you on the other hand.”

“I haven’t hurt you, MC.”

“Bullshit!”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he pressed the bridge of his nose tightly before gesturing wildly, “I can’t lose you. If you had just calmed down nothing would’ve happened. I didn’t enjoy that, and I’d hope to not have to do it again-”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from the man who just chained me to his bed.”

“We were doing so good, MC! Don’t ruin this!”

“Oh I’m ruining it am I?”

“Yes!” He yelled, and you gritted your teeth. When he saw your cringe, he loudly exhaled and shocked his head. “Listen. Baby. I don’t want to fight. I know that tensions are running high right now, but you’re doing so well. You’re doing better than can be expected. Just… Give yourself a bit of credit. Give me a little credit. We’ve just got to settle in and find that new normal, and everything will be fine. Everything will go back to the way it was. Even, it’ll be better. It’ll be like back in the villa, we won’t have the worry about the real world or other people. Just you and me following our dreams. We can do that, MC. We can. I love you, and you love me. And that’s all it takes.”

You couldn’t bear to look at the man you’d once loved, and dropped your eyes to the floor. Three months ago, hell even three days ago, you might’ve believed that. But not anymore. You couldn’t let him convince you of that. Not again, and certainly not now. 

His hands found your cheeks and pulled your head up to meet him. You couldn’t help but frown deeply, tears prickling your eyes.

“Shh, shh. Don’t cry, love.” He kissed your forehead, lips lingering for a few extra seconds. “I know you’re scared and confused. It’s just going to take time… For now, have your shower and try to relax.”

You found yourself nodding, unsure if there was anything else you could do. His eyes didn’t leave your face as you disrobed, and the shame made you wither. You quickly stepped behind the shower sliding door, the privacy glass offering a modicum of protection from his gaze. You continued watching him, head peeking out, and he offered you an encouraging smile. He causally stepped back against the sink, then after brushing against it pulled himself on top of it to sit. The position made your stomach lurk, suddenly viscerally aware that you were back where you started.

A sob escaped you and you fell to a knee in anguish. Bobby immediately hopped off the sink, “what- what?? What happened? What did you-” all you could do was grip a hand over your mouth and point as you sobbed. He looked down at himself then back at the sink and his eyes lit up in realization.

“Oh. Oh no. I’m- Baby no.” He stumbled forward, pulling a towel off rack and stepping into the shower, gently wrapping it around you and pulling you against his chest.

“I’m so sorry. It’s okay. I didn’t think- Oh lass. I never wanted to… Please.”

You gripped his shirt tightly, loudly sobbing, hating that his arms still felt comfortable. This man that had seen you so completely, held every part of you, still felt the same despite the monster he’d become. You leaning into him, but the hate burning in your gut flared as he gently stroked your hair.

“You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you. Please don’t cry.” He was almost whimpering now. 

“I never wanted this. Please don’t- I love you so much I don’t want to be some sort of pavlov’s trigger for you- I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t- you just. I was so angry. I knew you were leaving me and I couldn’t- Please. I love you. I thought I’d lost you and I can’t- I need you, MC. You need me too, deep down. Maybe not as much as I need you, but I know it. I know I’m your destiny because you’re my everything. Please don’t cry. Please don’t- just… You’re gonna be okay here. We’re going to be okay here.” 

From the breaks in his voice, you could tell he was crying too. That made the rage in your gut only twist harder. Hearing him almost beg you in that pathetic voice made your own sobs peter out. His desperation was making your own dwindle. 

You suddenly stood up, pulling the towel tighter and pulled away from him. He stood up quickly, a frantic look in his eye, but didn’t move as you made meaningful eye contact and retrieved the pile of clothes. 

  
“Can I get some privacy? To change?” You tried to keep the coldness out of your voice. “Stay in here.”

You started to walk out when he caught your wrist, “no I’ll go out.” He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you didn’t stop him. But he continued to seek out your own kiss before pulling away. He frowned slightly, then nodded. “I know, it’s gonna take time.”

He stepped out of the door and turned back, “we have all the time in the world.” 

You hid your grimace as a cough then nodded, holding up the clothes, “thank you. For these.”

He nodded and quietly closed the door. You turned the lock and heard his voice through the door, “No, hey, MC. I heard that. Don’t lock the door- I have a key.”

“Sorry!” You said with as much casualness as you could muster, “force of habit.” You loudly unlocked the door, opened it a crack and smiled at him. “Didn’t mean to make you worry.”

He laughed nervously, and you shut the door again. Pausing for a second, you slowly turned the lock on the door, praying the latch wouldn’t click when you released it. To some success, you eased the lock into place with a soft snap. If Bobby had heard it the second time, he didn’t say anything. 

You rushed to get on the new set of clothes, a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, trying not to make any noise. Then your focus turned to the window. It was locked, but pretty simple to pull open, and you managed to do so with little noise. Looking out of it, there was a small strand of the roof that was reachable, if you could swing yourself out of it. The bedroom was on the second story, though, and you couldn’t see around the corner of the house to tell if the roof led anywhere. You pushed the window open further, testing if it could open wide enough to get your shoulders through, and it bumped the top of the sill.

“MC?” He was surely listening through the door.

“Ah shit-”

“MC- You alright?”

“Yeah I just bumped my elbow, sorry!” Surely he wouldn’t buy that.

He made an anxious sound in his throat, he used to do that all the time. Like he was revving up his voice to deliver bad news. But if he suspected something, he didn’t say it. That was all the encouragement you needed to shove your torso through the window, clinging to it for balance.

“MC? Are you done yet?” He whined, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Tilting your body, you called back through the window frame, “Yeah, I’m just putting on some makeup, I want to feel more like myself.”

“Oooh, okay, hurry up!” You heard the knob rattle, and your heart sank. The options had now devolved to pulling yourself back in there and acting like nothing's happened, which he surely wouldn’t believe, or just going for it. You’d find out soon enough if he had a key, and the adrenaline coursing through your veins urged you onwards. You managed to get your hips through the window, which caused you to violently pitch forward and you smothered a scream and gripped the window with your knees. Bobby was yelling from the other side of the door, but the blood rushing in your head made his words hard to discern. 

After taking a second to regain your bearings, you grabbed onto the small sliver of roof you could reach, essentially hanging upside down at this point. Fucking Lara Croft would struggle pulling of this dumbass acrobatics, and you definitely didn’t have the upper arm strength to catch yourself if you fell out of the window. Nor did you have the strength to pull yourself back in with only your legs. 

“Fuck. Fucking shit. Goddamn it.” There were no options, and suddenly hands on your shins lessened them even more.

Bobby was yelling, it didn’t matter what he was saying, but he was pulling you back in. Fuck him, and fuck that stupid house. You landed a square kick to what felt like his shoulder, or maybe his face, which definitely got his hands off of you. The downside was that it dislodged the precarious hold you had on the upper half of the window, sending you slipping forward. Your hands found no purchase as you fell out the window, Bobby screaming behind you.

In a split second decision, you pushed against the exterior of the house, thrusting your hips forward to try and land on your legs. You managed to get them underneath you, but as you hit the ground you realized your mistake as white hot pain flashed up your left ankle. A wail escaped from somewhere deep inside you, and you crumpled.

Fuck it hurt. But the anger had returned in full force as you looked up. Bobby’s head stuck out the window, face twisted up in fear and upset. He disappeared back into the house, no doubt coming to retrieve you, and you surveyed your landing pad.

It was a large yard, full of overgrown grasses and weeds. As you pulled yourself into a standing position with your hands, pain radiating up from your leg, you realized the grasses reached your waist. No one had mowed for a long time. A cursory glance to the neighbor’s yard confirmed the same. You didn’t even know which direction of the yard would put you closer to the front of the house, closer to Bobby’s car and the only way out. But fuck if you were going to wait around here for him. Beyond the yard was an overgrown woods, and you figured Bobby would expect you to hightail it towards a different house, hoping to find someone to help. Considering the state of the yard and how no one had called the police after hearing your screams, surely that would be a pointless gesture. So you lurched towards the treeline.

You nearly made it when Bobby came barreling out of the left of the house. You didn’t look back at him, but could hear his running and yelling your name. You continued limping, hopelessly reaching towards the woods as his hands clamped across your mouth, his other arm snaking across your waist. 


End file.
